Almost all fears, when you think about it, stem from the fear of being judged and not accepted—apart from primal survival fears, like being chased by a lion.

The fear of fully showing up as your true self can be subtle and yet so powerful in shaping your decisions and life as a whole. Often, the root of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges lies in the disconnection from our authentic selves, creating a DIVIDE between mind and body.

As we grow up, we learn to hide parts of ourselves to fit in, adopting “masks” to meet the expectations of family, friends, and society. While these masks may temporarily help us feel accepted and secure, they become emotionally exhausting over time, leading to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

Why Don’t We Just Be Ourselves?

For many of us, these roles become so ingrained in our psyche that distinguishing between our true self and the roles we’ve adopted is not so clear. Often, only a negative life-changing event or deep self-reflection brings forth the gap between who we truly are and how we present ourselves.

The Cost of Living Out of Alignment with Our Authentic Self

Living in fear of the judgments that come with fully expressing ourselves drains a tremendous amount of emotional and mental energy. Constantly playing a role to be liked by coworkers, or doing things you don’t want to in relationships, leaves little room to enjoy life or live in the present moment. This misalignment can show up in various ways:

• Chronic fatigue: Living inauthentically is exhausting, often causing persistent tiredness.
• Irritability: Keeping up an image makes us more prone to frustration.
• Depression and anxiety: The longer we stay disconnected from our authentic selves, the higher the risk of mental health challenges.

Reflection Questions

If you’re feeling disconnected, consider these questions:

• In what areas of your life do you feel unable to be 100% yourself?
• What fears (identify them) keep you from showing up as your genuine self?

Yes, being your true self may mean some people drift away. However, those who stay will truly value and accept the real you, which will also help you truly value and accept yourself. When you show up unapologetically, you may inspire others to embrace vulnerability and find the freedom that comes with expressing their authentic selves.

“Live life as though nobody is watching, and express yourself as though everyone is listening.”
— Nelson Mandela